Just a moment of weakness
I'm having a moment of weakness. You ever feel like that? Like all of a sudden you feel weak about the stuff you were so strong about (for example your on a diet and then eat tons of chocolate haha)falls flat and you give in. I feel guilty bout having a moment of weakness so its feels worse. I feel even worse talking bout it but I needed to tell someone. My day started strong but here alone with my thoughts at work for 8 hours..... I'm slipping. Hard.I miss him today. Been doing great lately but today and just today I miss him that it hurts. I panicked thinking I'm never going to get over him... Maybe I threw it away? No, I tried so hard...... maybe, maybe I said something stupid and he would of come back to me if I wouldn't of said this stupid thing.. yes, that must be it. No, its not. Maybe I loved him.... probably not. Like yes, lust yes, love no. I'm slipping... when will I be over you? I cried to have you back in my life as my friend and now I want to rid myself of you. I need to. Today I'm weak, tomorrow I need to be strong.
I messaged him. Simple messages like "hi" and "hows it going" and "have fun at work" he messaged back "hey"and "going good and u" and "ok bye." We talked last week it was great I got things off my chest and we ended our conversation really well. I was good after that but today I miss him.
I feel like I don't want anyone else but him. I got another guy who wants to take me out but I'm not interested. I need this feeling to pass. I didn't like him b4 why now do I want to be only with him?? I can't wait for this feeling to pass. Today I'm not there, tomorrow I need to be. I need to stop talking to him, even if its a week at a time. Its dragging it on too long I think. Not giving myself time to get over that hurdle if we still talk. No more calls, I can't. Not friends now too early, maybe later. Today was the last message it needs to be over if its over. Competely over so I can be over him. Then I won't have a moment of weakness.. out of sight out of mind. Today is weak tomorrow is strong and next month will be great.
Goodbye 'A'.
posted by sleeplessly_single @ 9:09 PM
